Disconnected

Disconnected

These two days spent "in the world" feel strange. A great sense of disconnect which I might liken to the feelings one may have while experiencing their last day at work before embarking on a major change in their life, such as retirement. But, it is clearly different in that even though I know I will be back here in a little more than a week, I still feel terribly distant from it all.

I feel like I SHOULD be home or in my Church home. This desk, this keyboard, the view of Lake Union out my window all seems foreign to me. The minor personality scuffle presently in need of solution in the vanpool is in my mind a non-issue right now. I have one foot here and the other is in the mystical Kingdom of God where a parallel reality seems to be taking place, utterly unknown to those in the world. It's as if I know of a forgotten wardrobe into which one can enter and pass into another world where time is reckoned differently - as are many things: Blessed are the meek.... (In a way, every Liturgy is just such a wardrobe.)

I listen this morning to the opening announcement and welcome of the Washington State Ferry system, while in my heart I find myself trying to know how to be watchful for the Bridegroom who comes at midnight.

Without reaching the point of being rendered ineffectual for much of anything, I wonder if I should not always have just a taste of this disconnect? I realize I am awash with it right now...but I could certainly use some of it throughout the year. I am going to focus a bit on how this sense of being is changing my perspective on everyday things (from spilled milk to politics) and see if I cannot hold on to this disconnect. So much of this world is not worth plugging into.