When the Homily is about Immunology

Passionate about Life?

Fortified Stillness.
Relaxed Awareness

The terminology escapes me as I've heard (read) it, but the idea is akin to a sort of vigilance. Like a cat perpetually prepared to pounce and yet at the same time wholly relaxed and at peace - unmoving. It seems paradoxical to me...this state of being which we are commended to live our lives within. Geared, I gather from the great spiritual writings of our faith, it is intended to be a means of overcoming our passions which war against us.

We Orthodox like to use the word passion (as did the Fathers) in an almost exclusively negative context...but in modern society it seems we have judged the morality of this term be relative to its direct object. In other words, the paritcular thing which we are being passionate about. We seem to believe that it is a good thing to be passionate about things such as feeding the hungry, helping the homeless, or praising God. But perhaps we need to examine our modern useage of the term as compared to its useage in the Church?

When I was first learning about Orthodox praxis I was reading (somewhere?) about the use of a vigil lamp in our homes. One thing that struck me as interesting was the recommendation that we trim the wick to such an extent that we get a small, steady, bright, clean, and long burning flame. Trim it too closely to the oil and it will snuff itself out, trim it too long and it will burn wildly producing smoke and soot while quickly consuming the fuel - out of control. Small, steady, bright, clean, and long lasting - this was the goal. And this goal is to be a lesson for us.

The out of control flame is like one who has surrendered to their passions (irregardless of the direct object they might be applied to.) The person is constantly being blown by the wind, chronically dissatisifed, rarely at true peace, burning so much fuel that their very being becomes erratic and uncontrolled, they are constantly moving in a search I perceive to be for more fuel to consume.

A personal lesson I struggle with everyday, for I am a man almost certainly enslaved by his passions - most of which are directed toward unquestionably sinful things. But something bigger occured to me last night as I was watching a television program on PBS (no idea what it was) which showed a very emotionally intense and firey southern church service. People were screaming, weeping, and dancing in a fury. In my old days I would probably have jumped up and screamed "Hallelujah" or at least I would have sat there and thought: "Jeez, my church is dead compared to these guys...wish I went there." But instead, last night - without judging those on the screen - I had to ask myself why the Orthodox service (and by extension the Church herself) seems dead to some people, especially when compared to the raging flame of emotion in other denominations.

I think it might be because of our perception of the passions. The Church, like those who make the body up, I think strives to exist in a state of vigilance, fortified stillness, and relaxed awareness. The Church naturally seeks to be just like the small, steady, bright, clean, and long burning flame of the vigil lamp. Friends, we dare not interpret the constant quest of the raging fire for more fuel as the moving of the Holy Spirit. The forest fire rampages through the landscape moving quickly and indiscriminately. It will be long gone while the oil in the vigil lamp burns on, as it has for 2000 years. And yet some will continue to say there is no life there and they will move on in search of the big fire.

I pray the big fire may leave a few vigil lamps in its wake. I think it has, and it will. After all, there's one in my house now.