A trip to the Hospital

Oh, you can be sure I was horrified at the thought of going to my first confession - if for no other reason than I had determined to be as honest as I could. (And if you knew me as well as I know myself, you'd be scared for me as well.) But having experienced the Grace communicated through the Holy Sacrament, I found my second confession to be something I actually looked forward to - even though it was abit painful. Critical self-examination is not something we typically enjoy, especially since we've all grown up in the "I'm okay, you're okay" culture.

Last night I went to confession and received some wonderful and insightful guidance from my spiritual Father. A few years ago, I would have considered the practice "heretical" at worse and uneccesary at best. Those verses about binding and loosing and forgiving of sins were just for the Apostles! I didn't need any help in my Christian life, I could figure things out on my own - afterall I had the Bible and a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, what more could I possibly need.

Humility for starters.

And then Understanding.

Confession has been with the Church since the beginning and in fact in the earliest Church the believers apparently confessed their sins before the ENTIRE congregation! As the Church grew this apparently became quite impractical and the present day Sacramental practice became common. It is a shame that even in those groups who still affirm a sacramental theology that Confession has all but dissappeared.

For me, it is life-giving. As I knelt with my priest's Stole draped over my head, I had a moment to pause and intensely reflect on my surroundings. Before me was a small table on which the Gospel Book and the Blessing Cross were sitting - at the beginning and the end I would press my lips against them both - giving them their due honor and reverence. A large of Icon of Christ gazed lovingly at me, and I am, not oddly enough, reminded of the Parable of the Prodigal Son. There is also an Icon of "The Agony of Christ" which further beckons me toward repentence. At last I note the Icon of "The Ladder of Divine Ascent" (see Above) which reminds me to "finish the race" and ""not be disqualified" as St. Paul himself tells us.

Afterwards, Holy Communion at Liturgy.

"O Strange wonder, I who am grass partake of fire...and am not consumed."

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