Motherhood…a worthless endeavor in America today?
Prior to marrying my wife, I didn’t want kids at all. And when my future wife told me that she wanted to be a full-time mother, I was dumbfounded, perhaps even appalled. After all, only illiterate trailer-trash women from the backcountry hills of Appalachia actually aspire to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. Women have a right (obligation) to have careers of their own that do not involve the duties of raising children and providing for the overall domestic well being of the family.
You see I had bought WHOLESALE into the lie that in order to be an intelligent and sophisticated woman, said woman MUST have a career outside of the home. Well, my beloved soon had me rethinking my indoctrinated little mind on this matter and so now I am forced to ask: What has changed our minds here in America to begin to dismiss the CAREER of motherhood? The very noble and “helluva lot harder job than I have” task of raising children? (It should be noted, that the job responsibilities of a full-time Mom do not end there either, do they?)
What are we about, as a people, demeaning full-time moms? And speaking deridingly of “soccer moms” and “mini-van moms”? I wonder if it is not the end of us as a civilization…really! Exactly whose hand IS rocking the cradle today when we live in society where one presidential candidates wife can say of the other: “I don’t know if she ever had a REAL job” and then later apologize because in fact she did have a “REAL” job. Ahem, ladies, are you not both mothers? It seems to me that the apology may have been misdirected – I am waiting for the phone call my wife is presently due.
And who is going to apologize (in the St. Justin Martyr sense of the word) for the SACRED job of motherhood? Careers, for men and women, should take a back seat to MANY things, not the least of which include: salvation and family. And when your career IS your family, well think about that! Is it not a holy thing?
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As you know my wife is a stay home mom with 5 children. But I have never considered her as working a "job". A "job" or a "career" to me is like working at McDonald's, or American Family Insurance. The position of mother in my household is much higher than a mere "job" like I have. And when I am home I do not feel like I am working a "job" when I spend time with the kids or help clean up around the house. I also think that mothers who do have "jobs" (like my own mother for instance who raised three children while working full time) should not be considered "working a job" when they are at home being mom. The calling of being mother or father is a much higher and holier calling than merely having a "job" or a "career". I think that when Mrs. Kerry said that Mrs. Bush never had a job, she meant the kind of job where you go punch a clock and what not. As a woman herself, I am sure that she is aware of the challenges and blessings of being a mother, and would not want to cut down the womanly role of mothers anywhere.
- Imran
There is problem (and I completely reject that it is economic) when parents (traditionally and most commonly Mothers) choose (or are forced?) to pay someone else to be their children's mothers while they develope a career. And when to do otherwise is seen as sacrificial at best and belittling at worst.
The remark is merely indicative of this greater problem...the remark itself reminded me of it.
While there is certainly an overt assault on the traditional idea of motherhood by radical feminism (and God only knows why they think that women will only be free when they have forsaken everything that is special and unique to womanhood), I think the general materialism of todays society is what "forces' women into the work place.
When a couple is constantly fed the idea that if they do not have an SUV (for safety), and bigger house than they need, an expensive computer (so the kids will "stay ahead"), etc, etc they are not providing for their children and are suffering a lower standard of living.
Debt is so easy to get into, and the consumer goods so readily available, that unless conscious, deliberate choices are made, it is easy to get in debt to a point where both parents must work to stay afloat.
Some dear friends of mine are going to have their first baby in February, and they would be sorely pressed to maintain their current lifestyle if the mother stayed home. I can't make choices for them, but part of me wants to scream: sell the big house, sell both the expensive cars, do whatever it takes!
Being single myself I can't really grasp the dynamics of raising a family, but I see how I was raised, and even though our family would have been considered poor, I thank God for the gift of a mother who was always there.
And the thing that motherhood has spurred me to ask myself lately is: Here I am, being here for my kids and family...so what is my quality? I only want to be the very best. God have mercy.
I am thankful for my wife! When our family was baptised she asked that St. Juliana of Lazarevo (A wife and mother) be her Patron Saint.