Abstinence

Abstinence

I was watching CNN the other day and I heard one of the reporters/anchors (I don't know which) babbling on and on about the "scandal" of Sarah Palin's daughter being pregnant. They even went so far as to reference a RADICAL leftist pro-abortion anti-abstinence group that would have teachers handing out condoms (if not "toys") to your grade school aged children. All in an effort to say that this is definitive evidence that abstinence education doesn't work, and thus Sarah Palin (and not a few of the rest of us) are hypocrites.

May I interject a few thoughts? Personal experiences?

I'm no Einstein, but I am fairly well educated in the realm of contraception. Three of my children came into being because of a failure of contraception education - in other words I didn't practice what I knew. And one of my children came in being because of the failure of modern medical contraceptive surgery. Oddly enough abstinence education works 100% of the time when applied...not so with contraception. Neither however will work if in the heat of the moment they are not applied. So you want to tell me that contraception education works better? Tough sell...at least to me. So anyway, I'm not sure that in our sex hyped society that contraception is going to end teen pregnancy...or even substantially reduce it. But what difference does it make? You can always kill those babies so we don't have to have our older babies "punished" with younger babies. Lord knows we don't want people to suffer from the natural consequences of adult behavior.

Fact is, and I have talked about this before, abstinence education in the secular world IS going to fail. You cannot speak with a forked tongue to kids and expect them to believe you. Out of one side of your societal mouth you say WAIT and out of the other you are bombarding them with the message that NOT WAITING is AWESOME! So what benefit is it for them to learn from their public school teacher that abstinence is the best way to go, if at the same time they are learning in far greater quantities to far greater effect from their TV shows, movies, video games, music, advertisements, and their peers that abstinence is not only impossible, but hopelessly UNcool?

But you know what, if we as Orthodox Christians deny that abstinence is a legitimate option for our kids then I think we are also denying a very huge part of our religious tradition. You know, that whole self-denial thing we like to gab about? "Take up your cross and follow me"? We believe that stuff, right? The "Unseen Warfare" and "Philokalia" and all those writings of the Fathers and Mothers? The monastics to whom we look toward for advice on curbing the appetites of our flesh? The fasting? The prostrations? These things we do do, right? Maybe it's just talk? We don't REALLY believe we can change? Become more holy? More devout? More in control of the passions?

So, if we - as Orthodox Christians - are going to join in and say that abstinence education cannot be successful, then we had better start deciding EXACTLY what we mean and in what context we say such a thing. Organizations, such as the one cited by CNN will say it's all genetic and we cannot possibly do anything about it...but I wholly disagree and I am confident the Church does as well.

So let me put it out there for you parents. What are you doing for your kids with regard to abstinence education? I am still formulating many of my own ideas, but they are certainly centered around an education that teaches about the overall bankruptcy of the world's values and thus - hopefully - when my kids see a barely dressed Paris Hilton squirming on a car with a Burger King Hamburger, they too will begin by saying: "How stupid!"

In the world and yet NOT of it. How does this get translated into everyday practical teaching and education? I simply do not trust the government to teach my kids ANYTHING of use about sex - even if it is abstinence. But what then?

As to Sarah Palin and her family? Respect. They are publicly and privately living their values (a RARE thing these days - especially for politicians), both via their son suffering from Down Syndrome and their 17 year old daughter about to become a mom. Love and support from the whole family. A good example in trying times...and such examples turn trying times into blessings. How sad that we play politics with their lives. In my mind, they give us another lesson for our kids: the easy way out is often NOT the best.