Sex with Demons
Bill, the self-proclaimed Unnecessary Pastor (a title which I would heartily disagree with - especially since having read his blog for quite sometime now I esteem him a great deal) laments about porn coming into his email and lists a few websites that provide support for people who struggle with sexual sin...I told him in his comment section that he could count me as being among those so struggling.
The internet has made pornography WAY to easy to find or just run accross (on purpose, accidently). I'm sure we all know this. Pornography has really scarred me...sometimes I can still see images of pictures I'd viewed decades ago. Orthodoxy has really focused and clarified much of the entanglements to be found in this particular sin...through the writings in Unseen Warfare and portions of the The Philokalia (among others) I have found a literal river of wisdom and insight that has washed over me.
One thing I've learned is to not expect an instantaneous and miraculous "cure." Expect intensive therapy (i.e. WORK) to undo what I have done, and this therapy is clearly laid out before us. A huge and important part of that path is the sacrament of Confession. NOTHING has more moved me in my Christian life than this little act - so frightfully missing in my past. The guidance and accountability obtained from a Father-Confessor is indespensible to me.
Bill's post is timely, I have just experienced this blessed sacrament last saturday and its effect on me can be called nothing short of profound. How embarrassing it is to admit that I had visited web sites I should not have, and that I had entertained thoughts and actions which the father's have related to having sex with demons! But, at the same time, how very freeing it is! Ooops, did I type this outloud?
Hmmm...hopefully I have not made this post into an "over-share"...but I just felt the need to express how wonderful confession is for me and the extent to which I see it moving me toward wholeness...IMAGE and LIKENESS.
Being reconciled to God through His Church is an amazing thing...hearing those words of absolution and then tasting Christ the following day is...pure joy.
...offered by Dn. fdj, a sinner at 11:12 AM [+]