When the Homily is about Immunology

Straight to the Point

Story is HERE

Divine Services and particularly HOLY Communion is NOT the time or place for bumper sticker politics. And I won't even say that this is especially true if your bumper sticker (ahem...sash) is making a statement in direct contradiction with the teachings of historic Christianity and specifically your church from which you are expecting to feed on Christ. (oops...well I guess I said it anyway.)

Furthermore...who ANY church decides to deny communion to is NOT the secular media's business. Get over it people...denying communion (I denied it to myself yesterday) is not unusual. Furthermore...I sure hope the RCC doesn't cave to external pressure...frankly most people would like us to stop believing in the nonsese of Resurrection too. Can you see the headlines?

Local Orthodox Parish proclaims that "Christ is Risen."

by Joshua Freethinker, AP

In a staggering breach of common sense, the people at this local Orthodox Parish actually believe that Jesus rose from the dead. For when prompted with the statement "Christ is Risen" they immediately respond in robotic unison: "Indeed He is Risen!"

It is also reported that in order to receive Holy Communion at this parish you are forced to confess AND believe this (among a number of other things). And as if this were not enough, the parishoners must actually go to the priest (a man, because woman are banned) and confess their "sins."

A group of former parishoners arrived on Pentecost in order to protest these out-dated, ignorant, and sexist policies and beliefs. Each of them had tatooed on their foreheads, words saying: "Christ is risen merely to a higher state of consciousness!" and then on the back of their shaved heads (which was a means of showing solidarity and equality between all five sexes) was tatooed: "Indeed he is risen merely to a higher state of consciousness!"

Their intention was to rush the chalice and insist on receiving Holy Communion. The press was notified as also were local government officials and a number of other special interest groups all of whom were planning on attending and witnessing the confrontation. (Of course, they planned on arriving after the Gospel reading because they had heard the services were ridiculously long and they couldn't believe that they didn't have a microwavable version.)

However, when the priest saw all that was going on, he was reported to say, "Was it silly willy nilly secular unbelievingable people telling the Orthodox Church who she is to and is to not give communion to in 19th century Russia? IT WAS NOT! Is Outrage!" At which point the priest called out his brown skirts: elderly women with large canes (secretly referred to as the "Baba squad"). These little brown skirts began pummeling the protestors and the media with their canes, shouting anathemas and other impolite unelderly lady-like things.

And the last thing that this intrepid reporter heard from inside the Church was someone shouting: "The Doors...the Doors!"