Paradosis

September 20, 2006

A Non-PC Rampage

Taking no prisoners...yes indeed no quarter offered. In a complete fit of capitalistic non-PC rage I will be heading over to Walmart not just to shop for some detergent or clothes made by slaves in Bangkok, but rather to buy a shotgun and a host of ammunition. If a confederate flag is available I'll get it too. Maybe some camos and a "Git R Done" hat with a #0 fish hook on the brim.

And if I feel really ornery I'll make fun of the handicapped greeter and the accent of the guy selling me the gun. And then to complete the redneck non-PC celebration, I'll head home, fire up the grill for some hog grillin' and then clean the gun in the backyard while smoking a pipe and listening to Toby Keith.

Just the thought of it all makes me positively giddy.

By the way...my only Walmart joke: "How do you get a peace activist liberal to take terrorism seriously? Tell em Walmart has a better health and retirement plan than Al Qaeda."

Alright, all kidding aside. I am getting a shotgun. No, not to fight off the Jihadist hordes to be found in Kitsap county - that would require a 50 caliber machine gun and Walmart doesn't sell them - I called. However, K-Mart says they are willing to sell and mount one of THESE on my Trooper.

I used to shoot skeet quite abit. We'd also go out - with local famrers' blessings - and mangle jack rabbits with 12 guages. Ugly business.

Living rural requires us to be concerned about bears and other critters (those that would have either my children or my livestock)and so that is the primary motivation for the purchase. But I would not mind going out and destroying a few clay flying saucers now and then. Really, nothing makes a man feel more manly than seeing one of those things dissolve into dust in mid-air. Smiling at your buddy: "I did that."

I was very happy with my old Mossberg pump action 12...looking for one like it.

By the way, don't forget to check out "Backyard Artillery."