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[The Creation of the Chicken]

An unworthy Deacon, named for the brother of God: James, striving to "work out his salvation with fear and trembling" within the Tradition (paradosis) of the Eastern Orthodox Faith. It is a strange and marvelous journey, and I am accompanied by the fourfold fruit of my fecundity. My wife, the Matushka or Diaconissa Sophia, is my beloved partner in the pursuit of Theosis, and she ranks me in every way.
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Friday, April 18, 2003

Top 10 Indicators that you are in the midst of endless urban sprawl
Ruminations while passing through the I-5/I-405 intersection in Irvine California

As a side note, did any of you realize that one possible definition for the word rumination is the “act or process of chewing cud”?

Actually, it seems to me that the city of Irvine somewhat forms the southern barrier of the urban sprawl we might try and call greater Los Angeles. I feel somewhat like a country bumpkin down here who hails from little ole Seattle with it’s measly half a million people. Heck, Baghdad has 10 times as many people than Seattle, as we have now grown accustomed to hearing over and over and over again.

Okay, let’s see if I can – from memory – recall all 10 (in no particular order) that I came up with during the drive. I assumed it was illegal to type and drive at the same time.

1.The only hint of green you see is found hanging from posts and is swathed in white lettering.
2.The only indication that you have passed from one city to the next is number one.
3.When using the “seek” function of the FM Radio, one cannot advance more than 3/100’s in frequency before finding another station – consequently an hour long voyage may not afford you the time to scan the whole FM range.
4.In searching for a station syndicating NPR, you will find at least 5…even more if you drive more than an hour.
5.Every 5th radio station will be in a language other than English, with an overall minimum of at least three different languages.
6.In any given two mile radius you will find a minimum of two major freeways each comprising at least four lanes in each direction.
7.At any given time, at least one of said freeways will be in congested.
8.Traffic reports require commercial interruption.
9.You have as many major airports to chose from as you do Lord of the Rings DVD bundles.
10.While playing MIcrosoft's OLD Flight Simulator, the same old, generic, and multiply-used ground imagery bitmaps being spliced together endlessly to simulate the cityscape as viewed from altitude, no longer looks unrealistic to you.




...offered by Dn. fdj, a sinner at 2:26 PM [+]
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