When the Homily is about Immunology

Befriending the Poor

Some self-professed "experts" and long(er) time expatriates will tell you it cannot be done. They would say the barrier between the comparatively wealthy and poor will always snuff out any hopes of real friendship. Some organizations even pre-warn their visitors/employees/volunteers about this.

The people here in Uganda have long seen rich westerners (to them, understandably, they are all rich - it matters not if the American is struggling to pay his cable bill) come and go. They come, as if riding upon some side show poverty themed circus attraction, and then when the $4,000 a ticket comes to an end they pack up and head home, while the poor Ugandans stuck inside the ride, return to their same state of well-being - often not very well at all actually. Yes, many a grand promise to do something for the Ugandan people have been made as the rides come through to their various finales, I am sure with the best intentions - but such promises have by now fallen on deaf ears and so more and more, the Ugandans know that it is only in between those times of coming and going that they may perhaps gain some assistance.

In return, the Mzungu ("white person"), knowing full well his respective economic position with the Ugandans he is visiting, may reach a point of wondering: all this hospitality, all of this show of interest directed toward me...is it all a ploy to get out of me what they can in the time I am here? Am I truly being befriended here...is what I am seeing normally done?

If I may use a trivial analogy: it is like the sole little boy on the block who has the only pool. He has reason to believe that his "friends" are more interested in his pool. Some will come right out and ask for its use.

Cynicism can set in for both the rich and the poor. The poor might perhaps begin to think the Mzungo is only buying his time and trying to assuage his guilt before jetting back to his comfort to forget about it all. And the rich begin to wonder if they are simply being manipulated.

The only failure with the pool analogy is a desperately critical one. A pool is a simple luxury that the less fortunate kids on the block would like to lavish in. For many of the poor in third world countries they are simply seeking health, well-being, and sufficiency for living another day. I might be grieved by a friend who "uses" me for the use of my pool...but how perturbed can I be for a mother to try and use me similarly in order to give her children a remotely decent lifestyle? A bit of schooling? Enough food for the week?

I do not know if this has happened here in my experience....but I am personally not going to let cynicism poison me. The fact remains, I am fabulously wealthy and I am living in luxuries I do not need and that VERY likely bestow no lasting benefits to me. If swimming pools were a life necessity, could we hold a false friend terribly guilty of being so? Perhaps we might even turn such falsehood into reality? And in the end...isn't our concern supposed to be about the extent to which We are being a friend and not the extent to which we are being befriended in return?

None-the-less, I grant the general notion that friendship is not easy in such circumstances. I should relate a story about the young man I have been training. While surely not living in squalor like some, he is, like most Ugandans, significantly less wealthy than I am.

Last Friday, I surprised him with the news that I was leaving for home on Tuesday. He had thought I was leaving on the following Friday and I could see on his face an expression of what I took to be grave concern. So, seeing the worry on his face, I encouraged him: "You will have no problems with the assay...don't worry I will be available to help you even if you do have problems."

He looked at me, put his hand on my shoulder, and smiled, "No my friend, it is not that. I am going to miss you."