When the Homily is about Immunology

Don't Walk...Drive to stop Global Warming

Lessons I learn from THIS article:

1. Laziness is one of the most earth friendly things you can do. Activists...well...are just too active - consider the food it takes to keep them so active in their activism. I'm guessing it must take 1000's of calories to hold up big heavy signs, scream, and march. And think of all the carbon absorbing plants the Vegan protesters will slaughter in order to maintain their activism...a green holocaust. They are going to get us all killed.

2. Which reminds me, why is it we never study the amount of green house gases we humans...ummm...produce. Poor cows get so much of bad rap. How about elephants? Whales? Dude, whales are huge...I'm guessing there is some old sailor's stories of a strange ocean phenomena that is now explained by whale wind. But, since I'm not smart enough to think about the millions and millions and billions of other animals and their waste habits:

3. Kill all cows...NOW. You see we cannot just stop eating them, because what are we going to do: turn them loose and let the live wild and free? See them roaming the wide fields of the West munching away at green house gas absorbing plant life and in exchange...ummm...producing more and more green house gases? No, it is unacceptable: kill them all. Man, we are going to have to have one heckuva big BBQ. Thank God we wiped out most of the Buffalo...just in time. New York would already be under 20 feet of melted ice cap if we hadn't.

4. Organic farming is worse for the environment than...ummm...regular old pesticide, chemical and drug ridden farming, and your friends won't like to be around you much either.

5. Even if the mass extinction of cows for the great earth saving BBQ is not done, we should go on eating them no matter what this articles says. You see, the story specifically - like an advanced technology cruise missile - takes a swipe at the Beef Industry. And suggests we ought to eat cereals and "pulses" (aka: beans to most of you and me). Ummm...so...I want to see the greenhouse gas math on this. I mean, since the Dormition Fast started I have been on a steady diet of Ugandan cereal and pulses and let me tell you something: I think you can spare the cows, kill me instead. Not to mention, these are PLANTS you are eating and plants do what with CO2? So the advice is: kill carbon absorbing plants and eat them, thus producing massive quantities of green house gases? Great idea...I want to see the data...heck I want to see the data being collected. How's come (yes, I wrote that) we only seem to enjoy measuring cow gas? I think eco-scientists might be obsessed or have some sick twisted perversion.

So, Anyway, I'm NOT just being lazy when you see me lounging and eating a hunk of cow...I am doing my part to save the earth. Thank goodness things are made so clear to us about how to be earth friendly. I'm chomping at the bit, waiting for the Feast: be very afraid you greenhouse gas producing cows, we will kill and eat you all.

On a serious note, as with all such scientist made "suggestions", if it gains popularity it could have a really negative impact on cattle farmers and their families. Some, of course, have no qualms about that happening but I am not sure that anyone stops to think if pop-sci blurbs like this, which can screw up a people's way of life would really have the desired earth-friendly benefit. Was it a good trade? Will anyone remember to ask about it once the deal is done? We usually don't like to recall bad deals we made. Of course, watch out, those who would not lament for the cattle farmer, YOUR industry or lifestyle may be next.