When the Homily is about Immunology

Adventures in lengthy evening services

While as of late my children have been able to handle a standard vespers within an hour or so of bedtime, the much longer Vespers on Nativity Eve was, shall I say, a bit more adventurous.

THY Nativity, O Christ our God,
Child #1 (holding service book): "Dad, where the heck are we?!?!?!"
hath shined upon the world
Child #2 (doing a little jig): "Daddy, I have to go potty!"
the light of knowledge;
Child #3: "Daddy, my shoes fell off by themselves."
for thereby, they that worshipped the stars
Child #? (Dad gagging and holding nose): "Blech! Who did that?!?!"
were taught by a star to worship Thee
Child #4 (Child #3 is dogpiling him): "Ahhhh....leave me alone STUPID!"
Child #3 (being dragged off child #4): "I didn't do anything!"
the Sun of Righteousness
Child #2: "Daddy! I have to go potty again!"
Child #3: "Daddy, my shoes fell off again."
Child #4 (crying): "I want soy milk and bread!"
and to know Thee, the Dayspring from on high
Child #1: "When is it over, dad?"
Child #? (dad gagging and holding nose): "Okay, who needs to go potty now?"
Child #4 : "Nicho did it."
Child #3 (loudly): "I didn't fart!"
Child #2 vanishes and cannot be found.
O Lord, glory be to Thee.


All of this in the course of a single Troparion. What a night...but no less is Christ Born! Hope you all are having a joyous feast!