An unworthy Deacon, named for the brother of God: James, striving to "work out his salvation with fear and trembling" within the Tradition (paradosis) of the Eastern Orthodox Faith. It is a strange and marvelous journey, and I am accompanied by the fourfold fruit of my fecundity. My wife, the Matushka or Diaconissa Sophia, is my beloved partner in the pursuit of Theosis, and she ranks me in every way.
If you know me personally then you know that I am, by all accounts, a dork. Maybe I could be called the Lab Clown...you know the type from your own lab experiences in school: the guy who tried to light his farts with a BUNsen burner, or the guy who thought seriously about trying to sell purified powdered caffeine (an experiment we did on tea) as a cocaine alternative.
The building that our lab resides in decided to have an earthquake drill, which to me makes as much sense as having car accident drills. As the staff were prepared with innumerable email warnings and more and more of my requests to play an injured person (I was pushing for massive head wounds accompanied by arterial bleeding) were left unanswered, it became apparent that we were actually going to have to interrupt our work and climb under a lab bench for a few moments.
And as the drill began it became quickly apparent to me that I really had no place to hide since all my coworkers had taken the uncluttered knee spaces already. And so logically, I picked up a large and tall lab chair, held it aloft over my head and began running back and forth screaming like a girl: "I'm going to die! I'm going to die!"
It was at this moment that my boss and her colleague entered the room to check on our "participation status."
Frankly, having been there for 10 years, and having seen some of my past antics (stories of the dark and mysterious scientific superhero "Labman" still linger in the halls), I don't think they expected anything less from me and they probably had counted me as a casualty days before the drill began.
"It was at this moment that my boss and her colleague entered the room to check on our 'participation status.'"
at least you were participating... it is a drill--how can they be prepared for the 'freak out factor' if someone didn't give them the opportunity in the drill?
i remember the day that a unit manager at WSP came up to me and a couple of other officers and asked us if we knew what to do in an earthquake. i said something along the lines of: "i do, i am from southern california." and then i dropped to the floor and covered my head.
Just be careful asking for head wounds and arterial bleeding. A friend and I asked for any female part or parts where we could wear drag and speak in high pitched voices for the high school play. We were very insistent. They ignored our continuous requests and we got the lead roles in Harvey. Now about that powdered caffeine? can I get that in my coffee as a dairy alternative?