When the Homily is about Immunology

“Wood”

I can recall the first time that I read the “Chronicles of Narnia” to my oldest daughter and having to explain to her that “wood” sometimes meant “forest” and that the English particularly used the term as such. I suspected then, that the name of Winnie the Pooh’s stomping grounds now made a lot more sense to her – perhaps up until then Pooh spent his time meandering about upon an exceptionally long 2x4.

Now, the advertising industry’s notion (see previous post) that there is no reason to change reality (e.g. your beer recipe), only people’s perception of it (e.g. it really does taste good no matter what you think) came into my mind this morning as I passed by one of a million new housing developments in the greater Seattle area whose name is at least partly composed of the word “wood.”

Now, I am pretty sure that the term here does not refer to the “wood” that used to be on the ¼ acre-or-so parcel of land that has since been nuked and replaced with 75-or-so giant 3 story houses of four-or-so thousand square feet, each of which generously blessed with a spacious 1000 square foot beautifully manicured Astroturf (sometimes triangular) piece of land. A beautifully pretentious wooden sign bears the name of the new “wood” neighborhood filled with what are sometimes called “McMansions.” (Funny, as I sit here riding the bus in to work, I cannot recall this ones particular wood prefix. Regardless, in this case, my daughter would be correct to assume that the term wood refers to milled lumber.

Just a little ways down the road another new development is going in. I’d guess this parcel might stretch to ¾ acre-or-so, thus they ought to be able to crush a good 100-or-so houses in there. A good number of “wood” names have already been taken, so I thought I might offer some to make their lives easier.

Clowncarwood.
Sardinewood
Chock-fullwood
Huddledmasseswood
Pressedwood
Oncearainforestwood
Incommodiouswood
Minisculewood
Fauxwood
Cloggedwood
Justinsidethelegallimitwood
Pressuretreatedwood
Congestwood
Heapwood
Valuewood
Comeswithatoyforthekidsvaluewood
Cemeterywood
MassiveCasualtiestargetforterroristswood
Icansmellmyneighborswhentheyusethebathroomwood
Allittakesisoneofustogetawirelesssnetworkforusallwood
Littlemorethanaweedwackerwillbeneededfortheselawnswood
Nodogsover10lbwood
Notsureeachplacewarrantsitsownaddresswood
Developerismakingakillingwood
Nostretchingallowedwood
Natureselsewherewood

Of course there are other suffixes besides "wood", but they seemingly MUST have something to do with "nature." Some other common ones include: Glen, Creek, Stream, and Hill(s).

And, I've actually discovered how these developments (along with Rest Homes) are actually named. Give it a try and you too can feel like a developer...minus that vast amounts of cash.